“I count among my friends professors active and emeriti.”

I am the very image of a modern college graduate
My breadth of understanding is immensely more than adequate.
I’m good at solving problems, both the simple and labrynthian
I know my marble columns from ionic to corinthian
I speak in perfect sentences; each subject gets a predicate
I practice perfect posture and I emphasize good etiquette
I speak as many languages as any Babylonian
And spend my summer holidays exploring the Smithsonian.

My breath of understanding is immensely more than adequate
I am the very image of a modern college graduate.

I count among my friends professors active and emeriti
I paint with either hand and I am known for my dexterity
At parties I’ve been known to wiggle each ear independently
I sing in Spanish operas and play piano splendidly
I’ve studied astrophysics and I’m very good at chemistry
I have a natural aptitude for politics and dentistry.

My breath of understanding is immensely more than adequate
I am the very image of a modern college graduate.

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